I'm going international...

Alright, ONE last chance to do this properly, and if it doesn't work, I'll give it up forever and ever and ever. So this is apparently my idea for sticking to blogging this time, to do it in english. It's quite dorky and I do feel abit uncomfortable about it (especially knowing that some people will think I'm a total douche. Which I kind of am, I guess) BUT! I really really really need to increase my english, not only verbally, but in writing aswell. And it doesn't really matter if I talk like there is no tomorrow when I'm getting pissed with my english friends, the truth is that I've lost so much of my vocabulary and grammar skills from school so some more practise would do me good.

So what's new since the last time I tried making a comeback? I'm in a new family up in London. Adorable boys, Eddie is 3 and Jack is 16 months. The plan is to do 6 more months (5 now, came back to England from a holiday in Sweden the 7th of January) as an au pair and then I have the whole rest of my life in front of me. Or, that's how I SHOULD feel. I'm just quite anxious about it and don't really know what do to after that. Doesn't really help that I'm shit at living in the present and enjoying the moment, I seem to always find stuff to worry about. But the thought of going to uni here in England has been on my mind since last night (which is a lifetime for me), and I guess that's also why I've decided to try blogging in english, because right now the thought of studying here and only do it in english scares the hell out of me. I don't really believe in myself enough to be able to do it... Not because of low self-esteem, I know I'm one of the most awesomest people in the world, but because my english often is worse than my moms when she tries to communicate with people on holiday abroad. Bad memories from there. Don't wanna talk about it.

But yeah, that's a little bit about my current situation and wow, do I feel like just deleting everything I've just written because I feel like a total twat for doing this in english, but oh well, it was worth a shot, and maybe it feels more natural in a bit. Don't even know if I can be funny in english writing? I'll try harder next time.

Love

Your douchebag.